


Ex Hoc Momento Pendet Aeternitas

by Otterlockie



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Anxiety, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Scars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29764245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Otterlockie/pseuds/Otterlockie
Summary: Percival returns to his position of in MACUSA after being freed from Grindlewald's capture. Fic starts at the point where Newt and Graves have been tasked to work a case. The threat of Grindlewald and his followers remains.Please mind the tags, they will be updated as this progresses there is a brief summary of any major tags at the start of each chapter. At the end there will be a summary of the chapter for more detail. Please let me know in the comments if I should add some other tags in and I shall do so.I hope you like :)
Relationships: Original Percival Graves & Newt Scamander, Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamander
Comments: 4
Kudos: 2





	Ex Hoc Momento Pendet Aeternitas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! lovely reader,  
> Tags specific to this chapter include: Graphic Depiction of a Panic Attack, Hurt/some comfort, and Emotional Hurt/Comfort.
> 
> Also, bad punctuation probably. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy nonetheless,
> 
> Otter XD

Graves sat under his desk with his knees held close to his chest, breaths coming rapidly. He could not breathe, and he felt like he was never going to be able to. His sharp inhales and stuttering exhales seemed to echo off the walls of the room crowding him serving to remind him of his weakness.

He felt the wards around his office shift and respond to the presence of a person on the other side of his door. The locking charm was disarmed, and the door clicked open. Graves tensed holding in breath he didn’t have.

Footsteps came in quietly, ‘Graves?’ the footsteps came closer, ‘Percival? Are you in here?’ Graves couldn’t catch his breath enough to answer. Finally, the footsteps came close to his desk and paused, he was met with the hazy vision of Newt's face peering under his desk. ‘Oh Percival,’ Newt said softly. Newt slowly moved closer until he sat under the crawlspace opposite Graves with his legs coming up on either side of Graves' shaking form.

Percival pressed himself against the back of the desk, still struggling to catch his breath words were pressing against his heaving breaths ‘I can’t…. I’c- I can’t’.

‘Percival, Percy, I need you to look at me’, Newt said quietly into the space between them.

Newt brought his gaze so that it met Percival’s downturned one, he met Newt’s eyes and saw understanding there, it helped counterbalance the utter reproach he felt for himself having caught being so weak.

‘I need you to breathe with me, can you do that?’. Percival stutteringly tried to follow the rhythm of Newt’s deep breaths. Gasping, he became frustrated with himself and started to lose control again. His thundering pulse echoing in his ears leaving him feeling as though he was underwater and the shore too far away.

‘Percival may I place your hand on my chest?’ Newt said quietly meeting his eyes with a sincere gaze.

Graves looks at him, barely registering the words, ‘It may help’ Newt says solemnly, patiently waiting for Percival’s response, in the silence that follows he nods and Newt gently takes his hand. Percy still flinches at the touch. Newt places it on his chest, where Percival can feel the steady rise and fall, he is almost jealous.

’Can you feel me breathing?’ Percival nods. ‘Let’s try again’ Newt says easily ‘Breathe with me. In and out just like that Percival, you’re doing excellent.’ Excruciatingly slowly he manages to get his breathing under control. Eventually, with Newt's guidance he is pulled out of the terrifying, roaring waves thundering inside the caverns of his mind, to the blank safety of a boat. The fear seizing his lungs abates and the rocking waves of dread remain lapping at the shelter he had found, not gone, never gone, but no longer drowning him.

The first thing Percival does once he realises he can take full breaths again, is push himself from under his desk, to half draped across it, he casts a wandless charm restoring the locking charm placed on the door. The desperate rushed movement startles Newt who reaches a hand fingers splayed outwards as if to steady him but stoping short at the last second. Charm placed and secured; he slumps with shaking hands under the weight of the panic that was slowing ebbing away. He sits with Newt in the quiet, tucked away under his desk.

‘It seems I am indebted to you yet again, Mr. Scamander’ Percival says, his hoarse voice breaking the silence the rough, rasping sound startles him it was growing all too familiar.

Newt raises an eyebrow at him, ‘You were not indebted to me before and you most certainly are not now Graves.’

Graves opens his mouth to reply but Newt cuts in before he can respond, ‘ – and if you are still to argue that you are indebted to me, then I do not wish to collect.’

Graves responds with his own question, ‘How did you know I was here?’ he asks, eyeing Newt. 

Newt calmly allows his inspection ‘I had not seen you since we discussed the most recent lead we were working on and I asked your secretary outside who informed me that she had come in this morning and found your door was locked and warded. I came in to see if you were alright, the leads we investigated yesterday were quite... Harrowing.’ Newt explains. Graves’ breathing begins to speed up, ‘-and also not something we should talk about right now.’

‘Damn it! This should not be like this!’ Graves slams his hand against the back of the desk, hard.

‘This case is difficult.’ Newt says carefully softening the blows Graves' mind was dealing. Percival just stares down at his hand watching the fine tremors moving through it. ‘How about a cup of tea?’ Newt says smiling.

Graves, closes his hand abruptly and looks up, meeting Newt’s eyes, ‘ I must be getting back to work’ Graves states almost tonelessly, _I am exhausted_ he thinks. Newt somehow seems to sense this, ‘I think you can spare an hour or two?’

‘No thank you, I must be getting back to work’, Graves says almost like a mantra. He pulls himself up to standing and leans heavily against his desk, if it had been anyone else, he would have been deeply ashamed to have been found in this state, but it was Newt, they had both seen each other through much worse, a war, to name an example. Which is why he is willing to accept it when Newt comes closer and stoops a little to hold the gaze of a slumped Percival, ‘I must be getting back to work’ says Graves quietly, attempting to circumvent the oncoming conversation,

‘I think perhaps a small break is in order yes?’ Graves considers this, he pulls himself to standing removing his hand from leaning against the desk as though he does not need it, and stands ignoring the numerous complaints from his body, he levels Newt with his gaze.

‘I must be getting to work’, Percival says voice hardening.

Newt stops pressing. ‘May I stay in your office? Newt says almost shyly. Graves understands, the world outside his office is difficult for the both of them, for Newt more than most, the chaos, the people. 

Percival gathers himself ‘Yes, of course, please make yourself comfortable’ he gestures to the sofa and armchairs in the corner facing the fireplace. Newt dips his head in thanks and instead leans down to open the clasps of the case he had stowed carefully beside the desk upon his arrival, and steps inside.

About half an hour later, Graves is buried neck-deep in his work, the tide rising rapidly, when Newt resurfaces holding two cups of interesting smelling tea, he places one by Graves’ elbow where he will have to acknowledge it, lest it spill. Newt himself nurses his own cup and shifts to sit comfortably in the armchair faced towards the fireplace beside Graves' desk which he lights wandlessly with a muttered incendio.

The room warms, Graves huffs and leans back in his chair, watching the back of Newt’s head as he takes a sip of his tea, and through desperate suspicion brought on from his time with Grindlewald casts a variety of wordless charms assessing the nature of the drink. Newt to his credit, pretends not to notice. When the charms he had cast inform him of no tampering he takes the teacup carefully and asks Newt ‘What is this?’’.

‘A brew of my own making, formed from various plant derivatives, the basic black tea leaves with Bergamot oil you find in a typical Earl Grey, alongside some Lavender, Chamomile, Valerian, Oat leaves and a small dash of Honey.’

’Valerian? Was that not used by No-Maj’s to help them sleep?’.

Newt seems pleased by this knowledge, turning in his chair so that he faces Graves, ‘Why yes, actually it has been said it has sedative properties. But-’.

Graves places his cup back onto the saucer and levels Newt with his gaze, -’Do you think I want a _sedative?_ ’ Graves spat. His carefully rebuilt control was beginning to strain ‘I saw the No-Maj’s take this during the war, to ease their suffering while they slept, forgive me, but do you consider me so _degraded_ by Grindelwald’s torture that I need your pity? Your help?’. Newt places his own cup back on the saucer, as though he had been expecting the outburst and places it on the table by his armchair, _good_ Graves thinks, he will fight me and then he will leave.

Instead, Newt says calmly ‘I don’t pity you Graves’. Percival levels him with a look, ready to argue.‘I don’t’ Newt says ‘ The brew is my own on the basis of the specificity of my measurements, the amount of black tea present, allows for the Valerian to have no sedative effects, only for the mixture to be calming, it’s more for rejuvenating your strength, you are right I do want to help you, but I don’t think you _need_ my help Percival, I want to give it, _willingly_.’ Percival feels the echo of the words he had spoken to Newt all that time ago. Newt meets his gaze to show his sincerity, 'If you want me to leave, all you have to do is say, and I will go, no questions and no arguments’

**Author's Note:**

> Specific Tag Summary: Graves has a panic attack and Newt finds him and offers him some comfort. 
> 
> Soooo this was a short beginning extract, just to get a sense for posting. The next chapter shall continue directly on from this point.
> 
> Let me know if this is worth continuing lol, I have a lot of this chapter written (if editing remains consistent it should be three parts in total with the next two being much longer and more focused on plot progression) but I'm not sure about posting yet. 
> 
> Regardless of any comments or kudos I hope you are doing well!


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